


Hidden star, rising star

by littleLuciernaga



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Platonic Relationships, implied romance if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22366825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleLuciernaga/pseuds/littleLuciernaga
Summary: Lapis and Peridot need to sort out their relationship before they can move on.(Set between the episodes Reunited and Change Your Mind.)
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	Hidden star, rising star

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a year since CYM and it got me thinking of these two. enjoy! <3

Time had been sort of a blur since Lapis decided to actually join the fight.

One moment she’d been floating along the atmosphere, guilt-ridden and heavier than ever despite leaving the dead-weight of the entire barn back in the Moon, and the other she’d spotted two gigantic mechanical arms zooming past her in space and going the way she’d just gotten back from; towards the Earth, light-speed and relentless.

As soon as Lapis realized what the blue and yellow spaceships represented, she felt overcome by the same wave of dread that hit her the moment she first reached the new and advanced Homeworld.

But this time the terror wasn’t about her own wellbeing, as she’d been easily ignored by the passing flashes of blue and yellow feared so much.

Now that she’s finally safe and has succesfully avoided the trouble that ate away at her for the past weeks, she can only think of the beautiful, warm, colorful and distant shore back on Earth’s Beach City, and all the people in it.

In a split second, Lapis thought of the Crystal Gems she’d seen from the orb and their pathetic numbers, all alone against two thirds of the remaining matriarchs who created gemkind.

And she thought, most pointedly of all, of Steven and Peridot and their stupidity to believe in her until the last minute. Their will to stay put to protect what they love.

The more she thought about the Crystal Gems and their low chances against the Diamonds, the more reasons she could find to see nothing but a lost cause in their fight.

Yet, surprising even herself, next thing she knew, she wasn’t running from the Diamonds, but turning around and flying at full speed after them.

Earth got to her _bad._

—

One absolutely obvious and very well deserved poof later—and from Yellow Diamond, no less— Lapis reforms for the first time ever since she was created.

She gawks at herself, first of all, because she’s still in one piece after standing up to the Diamonds, despite all her fears.

And then, she finds herself even more surprised at the freshness and newfound comfort reforming had given her; she somehow felt better than ever despite her confusion, firmness beneath her feet in the form of sandals, and a different weight of brand new clothes that somehow feel just right—

“Hey, looking good!”

Lapis looks up to really take in her surroundings; the beach right beneath the temple, and the rough aftermath of the fight against the Diamonds. There’s also the owner of the voice that called out right in front of her—an unknown Bismuth with vibrant rainbow hair, a hammer for an arm and lots of rubble and spaceship pieces under the other.

“Oh.” Lapis blinks at her, briefly remembering her and the fight against the Diamonds. “Thanks—I feel good.” She smiles slightly. “For the first time in a while.”

“Good, ‘cuz we’ve got things to do and we’re gonna need all the help we can get.” Bismuth extends her hammered arm and shapeshifts it into a firm hand to shake. Her toothy smile is wide and welcoming. “But first things first, welcome aboard officially, Lazuli! Any gem who can throw an entire building over a Diamond so easily is bound to make a good friend of mine in no time.”

Lapis snorts, but easily shakes her hand.

“Thanks, I’m kind of famous for being a total brute at this point. I might as well own it.” She stares her up and down after letting go. “You’re a Bismuth, right? I didn’t know the Crystal Gems had one of you.”

“Yeah, I also just got added to the team pretty recently.” She winks. “But I’m _also_ a senior member, so feel free to ask whatever, ‘kay?”

“Uh, sure.” Lapis smiles nervously, unable to get the sense behind that statement. She fixes her face into something more serious as she processes what she’s just been told, and her entire situation. “Wait, what do you mean we’ve got things to do? What happened with the fight and the Diamonds, did we win? And where’s Steven and everyone else, cleaning up after the battle?”

“Well, see…” Bismuth adjusts some of the rubble falling under her arm, and sighs. “Listen, I think I’ll actually let shorty put you up to speed with all that, she reformed a few hours ago and already started doing her part on the busted tech we’ve got here. I’ve got a lot of ship pieces to put in place before we can repair and use them.”

Lapis raises an eyebrow.

“Shorty?”

“Yeah, you know—“ Bismuth lowers her hand to the level of her hip. “About this tall, pointy, loud and green, kind of unhinged?”

A wave of embarrassment hits Lapis like a ton of bricks when she figures who Bismuth is talking about; not only her one and best friend besides Steven, but the one gem she’d recently emotionally backstabbed and stolen a home from.

“ _Oh._ ”

And Bismuth only smirks knowingly at the reaction.

“Yeah, it sounds like you’ve got a long due talk, anyway.”

—

Lapis doesn’t really know what to expect after Bismuth points her to the remains of Blue Diamond’s ship. Judging from the builder's words and tone, Peridot must’ve already talked a bit about their situation while Lapis was still reforming, and it must’ve been all pretty bad.

While making way to the busted blue arm, Lapis can only hope that Peridot will be just as happy to see her reformed as when she first arrived to the battle and that she’ll just explain everything that went down without complications, but an uncomfortable feeling eats away at her—like she should not deserve to want to avoid yet another confrontation. She nearly forgets what she’s doing at the beach until she hears an extremely familiar voice rant away in frustration.

“Ugghh, how many times must I repeat myself? What I need here is an engine that can stand light travel and we’re already eons behind schedule! What am I supposed to do with this primitive piece of junk?!”

Lapis stops to find Peridot—in a brand new form as well—discussing with Steven’s father near a shuttle of the ship. Greg puts up his hands defensively.

“Hey, you should’ve seen this baby on its prime! I drove all across Keystone in less than a day with that in my car and it only broke down _twice!_ ”

 _“Stars.”_ Peridot complains, pinching her brow under her new visor. “Whatever, I’ll find a way to make it work. Just bring me more of that highly adhesive gray cloth of yours.”

Greg blinks at her.

“...You mean the duct tape?”

“ _That._ Chop chop!” Peridot claps insistently at him, not unlike an Agate. “We need to finish up repairing these ships if you ever wanna see Steven again, come on!”

That gets Greg jumpy enough to hurriedly bolt off into the distance— which still isn’t too fast, but works well enough for Lapis to finally approach her friend, arms crossed to hold in her nerves. Up close, she can really see how flashy and saturated Peridot’s new form is, and though it’s miles apart what she’s used to, it also feels extremely right. A small smile even escapes her for a bit before finally addressing her.

“You kind of overdid it with the stars, don’t you think?”

Lapis sort of wants to hit herself when she opens the long due conversation with something as crass, but it’s at least enough for Peridot to turn her way, instantly wide-eyed.

“Lapis?”

Though this should be the perfect moment to say something eloquent and nice, Lapis only has the willpower to wave.

“Hi.”

The relief and surprise in Peridot’s expression lingers the same way it did when they saw each other at the battle, but it slowly dims as neither of them elaborates on their greeting. It's obvious there are _things_ to be said, but without inmediate danger or an emergency to distract them from communicating, only the ocean and the occasional awkward sound of a distant seagull are there to fill in their silence.

Peridot finally takes a deep breath and gives her back to Lapis to go back to her repairs.

“...Well— of course I have a lot of stars. I have been a Crystal Gem long enough to have my status shine through as much as it does.” She says, shakily but very clearly trying for detachment. “As for you, I have to say your star placement represents your own attitude towards the rebellion pretty well.”

“Wait, what’s that supposed to mean?” Lapis looks down at herself, frowning. “I don’t even have a star.”

“Sure do.” Peridot looks over her shoulder, squinting, and points to Lapis’ chest. “It’s the top half of a star. On first glance, it’s like it’s not there at all—but if you know where and what to look for, it’s pretty obvious.”

Lapis keeps her eyes down to find the shape, and when she does, she can’t hide her amazement at Peridot’s very first guess feeling so on point.

“Oh… you might be right.”

Peridot shrugs and gets back to work.

“Of course I’m right.”

It seems like a reach, but the more Lapis looks at her top, the more sense it makes; her star is really right there, even if by just a half, and it’s just like her motivation and her will to fight. She glances back up at the busy Peridot, nervous at her sudden coldness and that their new forms are all she’d be willing to talk about right now. The right thing would be to address her demeanor, but Lapis knows exactly why it has changed. Peridot makes way too much sense for her to even pretend she doesn't get it. She sighs.

“So…” Lapis starts back up, awkward. “I just got back and I have no idea what’s going on.”

Peridot doesn’t even look her way.

“Bismuth didn’t tell you?”

“She seemed busy.”

“I am too, but…ugh, hold on.” Peridot hits a faulty machine part with a wrench to straighten it. She groans, frustrated. “I guess I can tell you, it’s not like it’s a long story anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Lapis feels her stomach fill up with dread. “We lost the fight?”

“No, because—” Peridot hums and actually turns towards her, hands pressed together pensively over her chest.

“...Look, I might as well cut to the chase and just drop the important info on you to save time. It’s pretty much the plot twist of the century.”

That gets Lapis to scoff, almost disregarding Peridot’s seriousness.

“After the thousands of years worth of shock and imprisonment, I'm not exactly easy to surprise. Plus, we saw Camp Pining Hearts’ third season finale together.” She tells Peridot, smug. “I can take anything.”

“Steven’s Pink Diamond.”

A beat. Lapis can only blink incredulously at Peridot's stone-faced reply.

“...Okay, this definitely beats that two-parter with the kayak race by a long shot.”

“I _know._ ” Peridot says, arms crossed. “I said the same thing.”

Suddenly, as the shock really sets in, all of the times Lapis spent time flying Steven around, joking and talking with him rush into Lapis’s head at once, sickening her with the knowledge that she might’ve not done any of that had she known his identity. That she would’ve escaped her one chance at having a friend and life on Earth. She feels stupid, and even a bit betrayed--by Steven and her own feelings, her fists tight by her sides.

“Well—Why didn’t he just tell us before?”

Peridot looks away with a shrug.

“He found out recently himself… but that’s a whole other story, and while we were poofed, Blue and Yellow Diamond stopped their attack when Steven proved who he was to them. And then they decided to go to Homeworld to get White Diamond’s support to help all the corrupted gems on Earth.”

As if the heavy information coming in all at once wasn’t enough, the mere mention of White Diamond has Lapis suddenly feeling weak in the knees. It had been thousands of years since she even heard that name, and for Steven and the others to willingly be there… it was a lot to stomach. And the story wasn’t even over yet if Bismuth and Peridot were still in such a hurry to finish repairing Blue and Yellow Diamond’s ships. She glances at Peridot’s work, uncertain.

“That… isn’t going so well if you’re working so hard on repairing the arms, right?”

Peridot nods tightly.

“Right. Bismuth and Greg got an S.O.S from Steven yesterday. We don’t know what exactly happened, but if Steven couldn’t even elaborate, he must’ve been held back somehow. So we have to go help as soon as possible.”

“Okay…”

With that, Peridot takes a sharp breath and turns, one final time, back to work.

“And now you’re mostly updated. Details and drama go after we finish up Homeworld business, so can you go help Bismuth out with the leftover rubble?”

“Uh--sure.” Lapis hesitates, nervous. “Okay. I’ll do all I can.”

“Roger that.”

Though Lapis understands where the seriousness is coming from, Peridot’s demeanor reminded her so much of the calculating gem she’d met back when she was interrogated so long ago. And such a memory made her feel...uneasy, to say the least.

But now isn’t time for uneasiness, is it?

It’s time for action and to help the cause she’d joined, and though Lapis didn’t end up in a confrontation of any kind just as she’d hoped, she certainly wasn’t feeling good or relieved about it.

She sprouts her wings and takes off to help Bismuth out.

Maybe she’d properly talk with Peridot after Homeworld.

\--

...Or maybe before Homeworld.

As it turns out, even with the arm ships at their current full capacity, Earth couldn’t exactly offer much for the swift and accurate repair of two of the most delicate, advanced and important ships of their planet. At the end of the day the entire fixing was carried on by stubborness, creativity, dumb luck and _lots_ of duct tape. It was miraculous they even managed to get the ships to launch at all, so it was of utmost importance to remain careful on course to Homeworld.

The course itself was kind of uncomfortable, though.

After the ships had been deemed stable enough to ride and actually use, Bismuth had been quick to call dibs on Yellow Diamond’s sturdier arm. Lapis was sure she’d hopped in so enthusiastically and even insisted on going alone on purpose, as she’d been trying all the repair time for Lapis to back to properly talk to Peridot about their falling out. And now here she was--alone on a gigantic blue ship for hours with nothing but the mechanical noises of the screen and the busted engines for company, and one very serious ex-roommate to command it.

Lapis sighs as she leans back on the diamond-sized seat. It’s usually so easy to talk to Peridot-- Peridot is the one who starts, leads and ends all their conversations, after all. She had no idea it could be this awkward to try it herself. She’s usually the moody one.

“...So,” She starts, raising her voice to reach the giant seat next to hers. Peridot commands the ship there, her left arm enveloped in a blue glow while the other tapped away at a luminous floating screen. “ What do you think happened to Steven and the others?”

Peridot shrugs without taking her eyes off the screen.

“My best bet is that White Diamond didn’t agree to Steven’s terms to fixing the corruption on Earth… and with the state Homeworld is in, she probably wants the entire Diamond Authority there to fix it.”

“Do you think he’s in danger?”

“Maybe.” Peridot frowns. “I mean, I don’t think he’ll get hurt, per say. But you’ve also got a fusion, a defective Amethyst and an unruly Pearl with him-- and White Diamond’s got a thing for perfection, as we all know. She’s not going to be a fan.”

Lapis sighs.

“Think we’ll be able to help at all? From White Diamond’s perspective, we’re just another group of imperfect gems waiting to be fixed, and she’s...you know, a Diamond.”

Despite the sudden negativity in her tone, Peridot’s reply doesn’t lose even a beat. She doesn’t even seem to think of it, continuing her course without flinching or doubting.

“We _will_ help.” She tells Lapis, like it’s so easy. “And even if we can’t, we at least have to try.”

The hope--or rather, the determination-- in Peridot’s voice is something Lapis didn’t expect to hear right now with how she’d been acting since they reformed. She quiets down for a moment, taking in how with that liveliness and boldness she sounded exactly the same when she decided to fight for Earth.

_‘I think we can win.’_

_‘I think **you** can win.’_

The words echo in Lapis’s mind, fluttering around and sickening her to her core.

She may have a star now, but she certainly wasn’t acting like it. She sighs again, this time into her hands. There’s a chance to answer differently this time around, and though she was ready to do it and had already done it by joining the fight in the beach, it was so... _embarrassing_. So dumb that she didn’t act correctly all along.

She takes a very deep breath and looks down.

“You’re right.” She says, as quietly as she can manage while still making herself heard. “And...you were always right.”

Though Lapis can’t see it, Peridot glances her way.

“...What do you mean?”

The little hint of hopefulness in her tone is unmistakable, and Lapis knows she’s finally on the starting point for doing something right.

“Yeah, about--” Lapis holds on to her arms, steadying herself to not run away from this. “You know. Everything. Fighting for what you care about and... I've thought a lot about it. I shouldn’t have run away the way I did.”

For one dreadful moment, Peridot doesn’t say anything. Lapis looks at her for answers, and finds that her friend is looking down at the monitor again, deep in thought. Just as Lapis begins trying to backpedal on what must’ve been one really sucky apology, Peridot speaks up:

“...You know, Lapis,” She says, serious. “I can understand that you were scared of the Diamonds. It’s actually really valid that you wouldn’t want to be dragged into another fight. You just wanted a home.”

Lapis looks on, nervous by Peridot’s tone.

“Right…”

“And it’s valid--” Peridot continues, frowning. “It’s valid that you didn’t take Pumpkin into account when it came to leaving. And that you didn’t take _me_ into account when you left, since you were so on edge. People act recklessly when they're in panic.”

She then clicks on the screen--an auto-pilot mode, most likely-- to release her arms and fully turn to give Lapis her pure, undivided and angry attention.

“But did you really need to take the _whole_ barn as well?!” She snaps, gesturing wildly. “Really, Lapis, the whole thing?! Was the galaxy really not big and abundant enough for one gem on the run?!”

Lapis can only raise her hands, her voice cracking in tiny attempts to defend herself.

“I-I know I overreacted, but I just-!”

“Left me homeless!” Peridot interrupts, loudly. “And you left Pumpkin homeless too! We had to be at Steven’s place the entire time you were away and Garnet has a cat now! Did you know cats love to chase around and hunt smaller animals and vegetables because I do know! They love it a _lot!_ ”

“Peridot, I didn’t think--”

“Of course you didn't! But you got what you wanted at the and more and---and I hope space was a huge blast for you because with all the morps and books and dvd’s gone I had next to _nothing_ to do on top of being _miserable_ for weeks! I even had to join community theater to--!”

“Shut up a second so I can talk to you!” Lapis snaps back, using her wings to shove herself right in front of Peridot and grab on to her shoulders. “I don’t even know what community theater is and I was just at the moon and stayed there and it sucked, okay?! I was miserable too!”

Though Lapis's sudden rise in tone and even getting physical is enough to make Peridot recoil in alarm, she quickly stands her ground, looking even angrier once her words really set in.

“The _moon._ ” Peridot glares, and then scoffs. “You’re telling me that this whole time you were just a warp away? You were _so_ worried about being found and you just stopped and stayed at planet Earth’s observatory?! Seriously?! The Diamonds were way more likely to go there if they wanted something with Earth!”

“I know that!”

“Then why would you take our home there!?”

“Because I didn’t want to lose you!”

That particular statement gets Peridot’s expression go from anger to surprise in a heartbeat. She stands there, shocked, and Lapis is overcome not only by her frustration and her anger as she keeps talking, but embarrassment slowly comes and overpowers it all.

“That’s--why I took the barn, I guess.” She confesses, her voice falling to hurt and heavy quietness. “I panicked and took it without thinking anything other than I needed to save the life I’d made on Earth...and then I felt lonely right away. I passed by the moon and figured If I could put the barn anywhere close enough for anyone to reach, I’d be found and everything would be fine again. Like if you changed your mind you could just easily meet me there and we’d make some new morps or watch something and we’d be okay, but...nobody ever came. So I figured something must’ve happened already, but the observation orb on the base just showed me the same peace and quiet I was used to. And how sad I made you. And I felt so stupid-- like I left and made you sad for nothing. And then I never left. I was too ashamed to just go back and ask for forgiveness.”

The whole explanation passes by with a frowning Peridot listening and processing in the kind of silence she wasn’t really capable of achieving anymore. Lapis is breathless by the time she’s done speaking, hands pressed to her face.

When Peridot speaks up, it’s even quieter than anything they’ve said so far, almost a whisper.

“...I would have forgiven you, you know.”

Lapis would've probably chuckled if she didn't feel so bad.

“Honestly, I don’t know that.” She tells Peridot, her voice muffled into her hands. “That’s the entire problem. I didn’t think you could ever forgive me for leaving you like that--I didn’t trust I could’ve fixed anything if I just came back. Or that I wouldn’t have left again when things got bad for real.”

Neither says a thing for a bit. Regardless of how much of a downer it is to think about, Lapis is right--had she stayed for the time of Garnet’s wedding, she probably would’ve panicked and left Earth the moment Blue Diamond was on sight. She wouldn’t have had one good reason to stay besides hope or will; things she wasn’t ever very abundant on since the war.

Peridot can only sigh as she contemplates this, her anger long subdued by Lapis’s grief. She takes her friend’s hands to pull them from her face, offering a small smile in exchange.

“Well…” She starts, a little hopeful. “You were right at the end, if anything. The Diamonds did come, and they did want to destroy us. Heck, we’re only here because we were lucky enough Steven was one of them all along.”

“And I wasn’t there for that.”

“But you were at the end.” Peridot squeezes her hands now. “I mean-- correct me if I’m wrong, but who ended up trashing an entire barn over Blue Diamond?”

That makes Lapis snort, and Peridot takes it as her cue to keep talking.

“Point is, you ended up back on Earth. And you fought, so… anyway I see this, I know you’re not gonna run away ever again. And there’s no barn for you to steal anymore, so that’s safe too.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Peridot’s only reply comes with a toothy grin; one that has finally melted the cold away and cleared the air between them, and she lets go of one of her hands to point to Lapis’s brand new top--right where her star is.

And this time, Lapis doesn’t just snort--she laughs, breathy and quietly. The whole moment reminds her of Steven assuring that a _what if_ can be good, too. It seems to apply to herself, and she feels so light and so sentimental and dumb it’s almost too much.

She finds herself finally squeezing Peridot’s hand back, steadying herself to finally talk back.

“Okay-- comes with being a Crystal Gem, I guess. No more running away.”

Peridot’s smile is wide, and finally on par with the excitement and relief she feels upon getting Lapis back--this time, for real.

“Good.” She winks. “We have a lot to get back to once we kick White Diamond’s butt.”

Such a statement would’ve panicked Lapis any other time, but right now it motivates and pulls a smirk out of her.

“That sounds great.” Her smile falters for a bit, though. "You said you would've forgiven me if I apologized back then, but...would you do that now?"

Now it's Peridot's turn to smirk.

"I'm not the great, lovable _and_ forgiving Peridot for nothing." She says, her chest high with pride. "I'm basically the greatest gem right now."

"And the humblest."

"Naturally!"

The sincerity in Peridot's gloating and her inability to catch Lapis's sarcasm is enough to get her to laugh again, snorts and all. Or maybe Peridot is just confident enough to ignore her dryness, but either option is good. 

There’s a few more hours to go to get to Homeworld, with the tension finally gone, it’s not a hard task to have them pass by-- not with all Peridot had to discuss regarding the details of the Pink Diamond reveal, Garnet’s wedding, plans of attack and poses to try out once Steven was on sight, since this would be his first time seeing them since reforming.

And it’s specially not that hard when they’re still comfortably hand in hand and neither really bothers letting go-- they’ve been apart long enough for this to feel right, anyway.


End file.
